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I will confess that I have a library of romance movies and books. It has been a life-long quest of mine to marinate in the thought of lofty love songs, flix and cozy 18th century reads. The amount of money that has been spent on attaining this library is quite impressive and doesn't even take into account the outflow to Blockbuster and Netflix. If there was ever a romance junkie I was it. The Western culture has been conditioned from birth to conform to the idea that we can only be happy and complete when we have met our true love. I felt entitled to this experience and it presented itself to me. I have learned however, that romance and love are two separate things.
Very unexpectedly (and very iinconveniently I must also add)16 years ago, my future husband strolled into my place of employment and filled the roll of Prince. He swept me off my romantic feet and we rode into the romantic sunset. Through the 14 years of our marriage though, I think we'd both agree, it hasn't been a total cake walk. It has taken a fair amount of conflict resolution, ego relinquishment, patience and ...love.
Not the love you think I am going to talk about. Not the undying love you declare at the altar...not the love and devotion that you swear in blood to commit to...but the love you foster for yourself to stay in your own power and truth while negotiating a sense of identity theft. Invariably, the challenges that you face as a married couple morph and shift. If you decide to have children this process continues even more acutely. What remains constant is the dwindling notion of romantic love. At some point along the way I started fantasizing about little remote cabin hide-aways and how far I can get with one cent in my pocket...the sand had funneled to the bottom of the hourglass ...and then it broke. So, here is my observation...
Romance is illusory. There. I said it.
Granted, if this concept was understood by the masses it would warp the face of commerce. The sale of diamonds and greeting cards would plunge while wedding planners, D.J's, photographers and divorce attorneys would all be filing Wal-Mart applications. A new category of books would have to be coined called "Romance Fiction" or "Romady". Julia Roberts, Hugh Grant and the like would need to hustle a deck of Tarot cards at Venice Beach. You can fill in the blanks. My point is that as much as the concept of romance has entertained and delighted us for centuries it has a very blunt back swing that, if not approached with realism, will have you hanging in the stretcher next to Humpty-Dumpty.
The most crucial element in this warning statement is that you must seek your own divinity without relying on others to provide you with a sense of self-worth and belonging. Do yourself a favor by "tuning in" to the pure resonance of love for loves sake alone. Learn to love the Universal heart to which we are all connected by experiencing your own love and then choosing to share it through your eyes and soul. By recognizing yourself in another you have the power to transform the world.
On a base level we all seek the same thing: to be understood, acknowleged and loved. By turning over the hourglass with an intention to serve through compassion you will find a richer life's texture and meaning. If you have found yourself installed in the vestiges of a romantic void, shift your thoughts to take a look into the condition with a lens of gratitude. Gratitude (minus the romantic Ego) combined with the perspective of the Universal Heart are the magic ingredients to healing the human condition.
Our only purpose here on Earth is to love.
So, my question for you is:
Who is the most important person to love?
Visit http://www.jeweltreeoflife.com/ for more details on how Holistic Life & Soul coaching can shift your perspective and illuminate your Soul. Email or call Julie today to schedule your sample coaching session. Inquiries@Jeweltreellc.com or call 203.240.4397
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