Thursday, December 18, 2014

loose ends

Because I know that you are all sitting on the edge of your seats and wondering how my summer was (too short), if I ever got around to planting my garden (no) and how much $750 worth of dog kibble weighs (800 lbs),  I thought I should tie up some loose ends of my previous blog; bringing conclusion to those small little details that have been keep you awake at night.

The last I mentioned, I had set forth the decree that my daughter had to ante up for her Clash of Clan indiscretion and I, in the same breath, would do the same...both of which involved chests of gems. The rules of engagement where that Tatum could choose the charity of her choice and I had to replace stolen goods with the grown up bling. Both of us shoveled a hefty measure of humility and mortification along this path and were mercifully met with appreciation.

Tethered together, Tatum's misadventures led us to the bank where she could see, touch and smell  $750 worth of hard-earned allowance money destined for a strong armed tithing to the charity of her choice. This was money that she had been saving for over five years...


Next came the family road trip to Costco.

Like Tatum in a public stockade, we brought Tatums' older brother, Trevor, on this pilgrimage as a cautionary tale lest his future decision making skills become wobbly.


Apparently $750 worth of kibble can bring a Suburban to it's knees.


Driving low and slow we made it to Tatum's charity of choice, The New Milford Animal Shelter, with the rear axle intact.

Once all the kibble made it behind closed doors the shelter volunteers were a rapt and grateful audience listening as Tatum recounted the circumstances behind her apparent generosity; Her mortifying penance diminishing with every repeated confession.

For the next two months Tatum spent her time reading, crafting and spending her time like a Amish child. The value of money, as was measured by weight in Kibble, could have been easily measured by how many Indian children's eyesight could have been restored through a simple $300 operation or the number of wells that could have been dug for clean drinking water in Africa or the number meals that could have been provided by a local food pantry, was an eye opener for Tatum as was the experience for me.

If you might remember from my previous blog, busted, I too was a benefactor of Tatum's misdemeanor as it forced me to look more deeply into my own shadows to uncover a piece of gnarly truth in my wayward youth.

The gracious recipient of my recompense from days as a petty thief was eventually tracked down in Arizona. The letter she sent to me in return admitted to her never even remembering the ring. Truly, had this nugget of gold-filled base metal, colored glass & rhinestones not wedged itself so deeply into my soul, I could have established myself in a life of crime. Kim, in her hesitance to accept the replacement ring of such stature, understood the importance of my gesture. As a mother of a five year old, she knew the importance of teaching through example in order to raise children of character.  "I have nothing except fond memories of you as a child and now this just adds to it. Your example of honesty and humility is to be admired.", she wrote. And I sobbed, 38 years of self imposed tears; The loose-ended suffering finally tided up in a pretty bow of silken exoneration.

As we come upon the close of a year I bring to the table the gratitude of my foray with vulnerability. The humility that Tatum and I experienced in righting our wrongs feels as though my roots are growing deeper and allowing me to stand taller/stronger, speak with more confidence and recognize the wisdom hiding behind shame and guilt. I am curious now - the other vestiges of darkness that loom within me, in all of us...how they wait to be implemented and transformed in us all. Sometimes they wait. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes you can choose their neat and tidy exit path. Sometimes it's a complete conflagration. And, rest assured, whichever way you are drawing your circumstances to you is the perfect way in which your soul  is choosing to have this lesson administered. Because no matter how bad the conditions you find yourself in, when you make it through the ring of fire and rise from the pit of despair the most unlikely miracle of gratitude surfaces in ways your imagination cannot begin to comprehend.

Ask Yourself: 
What are my loose end(s) requiring a silken bow? 


Julie Bowes - Metalsmith/Spiritual Facilitator/Indentured Hash Slinger
P.O. Box 82
Sherman, CT 06784
203.240.4397 








No comments: