It was a conscious choice that took only two tries for each child, easy pregnancies, natural deliveries. No coursework offered in Parenting 101 could have prepared me for the intensity of this job. Babysitting is one thing that earned me a tidy sum of minimum wage. As far as I am concerned, however, babysitting does not prepare anyone for the real deal. I watch expectant parents with a new set of eyes wondering, "Do they really know what they are getting themselves into? How much freedom (and sleep) they will sacrifice in raising this child?"
The crazy thing is? I wouldn't change a thing. I am so grateful for having this privilege. It set me on the course to becoming a better person (questionable at times), it has allowed me to follow the artists path and I have met other families & people who have enriched my life beyond my greatest imagination.
What I am experiencing now is watching as my children look for their own upgrades like matches, gas masks, Exacto knives and ear piercing. I find masochistic pleasure in rewarding them with their desired upgrade and assisting them into the heretofore previously unknown realm of "danger." Quite frankly I do it because if they blurp it out of their mouth one more time I may do something I regret. IT pushes ALL of us into an upgrade.
Four weeks ago, in preparation for Halloween, my son started in on the ABSOLUTELY mandatory component of his costume...a real gas mask. I couldn't stand it another second. So I bought it. Such a push over, I know. He cannot wait to wear this thing. Pleas of desperation to wear it to the bus stop and to the super market have all been squashed with a firm, "NO!" So last weekend he had other plans. As he walked behind me it wasn't until I saw the oncoming looks of horror did I realize he had snuck his mask into the car...and subsequently wear as we headed down to the orchard. Or then later in the afternoon (still wearing the gas mask) when he was building airplanes out of balsa wood did he look at me with wide eyes, pale face and muffled scream recognizing how close he came to disaster. "Mom, I just saw a flash of skin pass before my eyes." He is learning the treachery inherent with his upgrade; Sniper exacto knives have a silent and deadly capacity of their own volition.
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Gas mask aeronautical engineer |
As I have consistently discovered, the first born has more inhibitions. The second child has none. If my daughter could have changed her own diaper, she would have. If she could have breast fed herself, she would have. When the highchair and spoon became involved I was to be no where near her field of food. The last time she wore a coordinated outfit was a Onesie. Tatum is a force.
So, I take my daughter to the mall with her posse of friends and then sic it on Tatum that "Today's the day! :) ya wanna get your ears pierced?" With a feverish sweat of exhilaration and terror, all the color drains out of her face as she realizes her wishes are being delivered...but ...there is going to be pain involved. She squirms in the chair as the earrings are locked and loaded and ready for impact. Her hyperventilation renders her catatonic and Tammy and Tiffany bust a move for the dualie piercing.
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Tatum feeling the upgrades |
I have earned this feather!
...and am proud and grateful for the upgrades I have made and that we, now continue to make together.
Ask Yourself:
What upgrades are necessary in my life?
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Julie Bowes - Certified Life Coach
JewelTree, LLC
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Sherman, CT 06784
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